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I had decided to treat myself with a little Olympics trip for my birthday. If you want to get a birthday gift you like, then I find it is best to buy it for yourself. Otherwise, you might only be given a T-shirt. We were on an EasyJet flight leaving at 10:35am from Edinburgh to Charles de Gaulles which cost £786.46 return including seat reservations and one checked bag. Having paid £41.99 for four days of multi-storey parking I received an email from Edinburgh Airport inviting me to benefit from one hour’s free parking the evening before should I wish to indulge in twilight check-in.
I was not convinced this was necessary but Mrs Froggee was of the strong opinion that 80 minutes of my time driving to and from the airport and dropping our bag was well worth it should it even save her five minutes the next morning. Plus, it was FREE PARKING!!! At Edinburgh Airport!!!!!!!!! So off I went. It all went very well apart from Balgreen Road being closed. There was no queue at bag drop and the barrier lifted without a fight on exiting the car park. It did cause me to miss Team GB comprehensively fail to win gold in the men’s track cycling team sprint, but I was back in the nick of time to watch Josh Kerr narrowly fail to win gold in the 1500m.
The next morning, I was woken by my alarm at 6:40am and immediately remembered I had forgotten to take my luggage receipt from the check-in machine. Never mind. By the time I had showered, both boys were already up which is unusual. I was surprised as they had not shown much sign of being excited about the Olympics despite me taking the unprecedented step of having the television on at dinnertime in an attempt to indoctrinate them. We had a normal breakfast and I read them the riot about expectations in terms of behaviour for the trip. “Yes daddy”. With little left to pack, we were comfortable for time, leaving the house at 8:23am.
The Edinburgh City Bypass was smooth and we parked on the top floor of the multi-storey car park where it was incredibly windy. We narrowly made it to the lift lobby without being blown away and descended to the second floor where we crossed the special bridge to Fast Track Security which is included in the multi-storey parking price. There was the longest queue I have ever seen at Fast Track Security but the new machines which allow possessions to be left in bags made it pretty quick. Except both Mrs Froggee and I had our rucksacks selected for secondary screening which was the result of our new his-and-hers foaming hand sanitiser which comes in a small aerosol can. Grrrr. The boys were, of course, very understanding about this and kept themselves busy annoying each other.
We had booked the Aspire lounge at Gate 16 using the Amex platinum credits and presented ourselves there at 9:17am. It would have been a new Scottish record if not for the secondary screening. Kermit asked if this was the lounge with the pancake machine. No Kermit, that lounge is in Portugal. We found a table and the boys went off to scavenge. Freddo returned to inform me that there was a pancake machine but it was three times slower than the one in Portugal. Kermit then returned to inform me that the pancake machine had broken after dispensing a single pancake. Sad face on behalf of my children. We had breakfast #2. I filled the water bottles from the painfully slow dispenser and the monitor told us to go to gate 18. That was nearby. Maybe it was going to be a good day. Mrs Froggee went to Prêt a Manger to secure supplies and I stayed with the boys who wolfed down pains au chocolat before we went to find their beloved mother.
I told the boys not to muck about on the travelator just in time to see a family of four in front where the big sister pushed the little sister and the poor girl went down hard and stayed down. The boys actually looked shocked. See? Not a toy, said I. The flight was not yet boarding when we got to the gate so we hung back given we were non-speedy boarding. The boys complained less than usual. Promising. As we joined the queue, Freddo spotted the same pal from school he had randomly seen in Tenerife last year. Edinburgh is too small. Our queue barely budged which resulted in a formal complaint by Kermit but we did get to board in a not unreasonable amount of time. My newly acquired CabinMax 40x30x20 cm micro-wheeled cabin bag did not even warrant being put in the size gauge which I was very chuffed about as many people were having their bags gauged. I had not dared buy the larger 45x36x20 cm CabinMax bag made to fit the official EasyJet dimensions as I had read reviews on Amazon which stated that the staff at Charles de Gaulle had insisted on charging for that size. The bag worked very well for us as my rucksack fitted neatly on top of it meaning I avoided schlepping much weight on my back and we avoided EasyJet’s cabin bag charges. I am not on commission and there are other micro-wheeled cabin bags.
The EasyJet plane was spotlessly clean, we took off at 10:45am and with a flight time of an hour and a half we were doing great. Weirdly, air traffic control was not striking and we touched down 20 minutes early. It was a long taxi but EasyJet spoiled us with a jet bridge. The queue at immigration was just long enough for me to retrieve our passports before it was our turn and we were wished a good day with a smile. We did have to wait for our suitcase but only ten minutes. And it was one of the first off. Our driver from BT Transfers (prebooked for €100 each way) was waiting for us. I had very optimistically hoped we might be at our hotel at 3pm but we pulled into the Pullman Paris La Défense at 2:30pm. The driver got €10. A bellboy took our bags, I went to the front desk to check in and the boys went with Mrs Froggee to drink complimentary fruity water. Apparently, it was nasty.
I had dealt on Olympic accommodation super early and booked a hotel when Accor opened up for business 370-something days earlier. In doing so I managed to massively overpay and had coughed up €4,871.50 for three nights albeit for the Presidential Suite. Breakfast included if that makes a difference. I upsold myself as the premium over the family room was 20% whereas 50% was more normal. And I would get 10% cashback. And Accor points. And it would almost get me to Platinum status. And it was my birthday present. Okay – yes it was far too much, only being matched by three nights in a two-bedroom suite at Gleneagles for our tenth wedding anniversary. To add salt to the wound, on checking rates a couple of weeks before our trip I could have had a family room (two connecting rooms) including breakfast for €2,273.39. A few days before we arrived it was down to €1,703.92. Yay me for spending €3,000 more than I needed to. I am not sure if I have ever mentioned this, but I am an idiot.
Probably because of how much I had paid, the Client Experience Director had emailed before the stay asking if she could be of assistance and more importantly could she extract further money out of us by making a dinner reservation on our behalf. Of course you can – table for four said I. The receptionist said the Client Experience Director wanted to meet me when we checked in. Would this be okay? Uh huh. She was delightful and did not laugh in my face as she showed us to the suite. The arrangement was a separate en-suite room for Freddo whose independent streak shone through in his willingness to sleep there; Kermit on the sofa bed in the living room (which thankfully had its own w/c), and Mrs Froggee and me in a spacious en-suite room separated from the living room by double doors. Freddo’s room connected to the living room via an external corridor but we had a secondary external door which we bolted shut, making us self-contained and as snug as a bedbug in a rug.
The bellboy arrived as the Client Experience Director was leaving and I tipped him €5 wondering if this was generous or tight in a French context. He seemed happy enough. As we were settled in nice and early, I thought it would be agreeable to go to le Jardin d’Acclimatation which was only 20 or so minutes away. This is an old school amusement park which has been ripping off tourists since 1860. We took the metro using last year’s still-valid Navigo Easy cards thereby avoiding the Olympics transport tax for one day at least. The boys initiated public transport protocols which meant that Freddo either walked ahead of us (despite generally not knowing where we are going) or behind us, and Kermit would wander off to stare at vending machines as if they contained precious jewels. I paid €28 for entry to le Jardin d’Acclimatation and €50 for a carnet of 15 ride tickets although it turned out not all rides cost one ticket. There was a further top up of €4.50 for one more ticket so it was €82.50 all in. When the boys were on one of the rides, I googled deals and I could have bought unlimited passes for the boys for less than I had paid if only I’d had the foresight to book a week earlier. But the boys were happy and happiness is priceless.
I made a detour on the way back as Mrs Froggee had forgotten her hairbrush and it did not go well when she tried to use my comb the previous time this happened. I paid €5.15 for a functional brush from La Boutique du Coiffeur. I thought I did well but it was not the one she would have chosen. €15 is more her price point. I got back to the hotel at 6:30pm to find a wife and two children on iPads plus a bottle of Heidsieck & Co Monopole Blue Top Brut Champagne, two fruit juices, four madeleines, and a fruit salad as a very generous welcome amenity. I put on a pair of long trousers and Mrs Froggee put on a dress for what was being designated as our one-day-early 15th wedding anniversary dinner.
The restaurant in the hotel had two other customers so service was pretty good other than one of the waiters would only speak French to us and that in a whisper. I did not have much clue what he said but he suggested drinks for the boys in addition to the requested still water. As it was a special occasion, I said they could have something. I recommended Orangina which they had never tried before. Freddo was game but Kermit was not. There was a miscommunication where I thought Kermit wanted Apple juice but oh no, he wanted orange juice and when this became clear, he looked at me broken-hearted as if I had just told him I was not his father. I would never do that as only Mrs Froggee knows for sure. I counted to ten and then went after the waiter, who had not yet poured the drinks. I changed the order to one orange juice and an Orangina. Two minutes later the guy brought apple juice anyway. I did not have it in me to complain given my poor French skills. Kermit looked sad but did actually thank me for trying which was a real breakthrough in terms of his resilience. Hoorah. Two glasses of champagne arrived unsolicited (I think). I wondered if this was related to the boys’ drinks e.g. order a glass of champagne at €1,000 and get a free soft drink. Alcohol and Mrs Froggee do not play nicely together so I guzzled both despite not really being a fan of champagne. We had an amuse-bouche of gazpacho soup which Mrs Froggee and I enjoyed and the boys declared to be nasty, which I think they had predetermined as the mot de la semaine. We also had yummy bread and butter but poor Freddo could not handle the crusts given the number of wobbly teeth he was dealing with. This was not a problem for Freddo who just built a pile of crusts and then started playing Jenga with it. Adopt adapt improve.
We successfully ordered our main courses courtesy of a waiter who was game to speak English. There was a deal whereby kids ate for free with the choice being chicken or pasta. Freddo was willing to have the chicken. Kermit had a €29 burger. I considered having the children’s pasta but then remembered I was a high roller and ordered the half-smoked salmon with chickpea pancakes. That reminded me of a great joke about the difference between a chickpea and a lentil. But it was neither child nor anniversary-dinner friendly, so I said nothing and adopted what Freddo calls my farty face. Shortly after our food arrived, a man in a suit appeared and awkwardly stood by our table. It transpired that he was the General Manager of the hotel and had stopped by to say hello to his highest margin guests. Again, he did an excellent job of not treating us like suckers. We had three desserts between four of us (Freddo’s ice cream being free) although one of the desserts had three items so technically it was five desserts. The bill was surprisingly reasonable at €151 and, in my relief at this, I forgot to even look at it. I tipped €20 in cash as, let’s face it, everyone in the hotel probably knew how much I had paid for the Presidential Suite.
Bedtime went well. Freddo was content. Kermit wanted the double doors to our room left ajar. No Kermit. I explained to Kermit that he was not to come into our room until 8am at the earliest and if he needed to blow his nose he was to go to the w/c and push the door closed first. I then paid €120 to load our four Navigo Easy cards with two-day Paris 2024 transport passes. It was not long before Kermit appeared looking freaked out saying that the lights in his room had all gone out. But they are on Kermit? But they went off. Erm, so? Kermit looked at me like I had just ordered him another apple juice and slunk off. We were asleep early but neither Mrs Froggee nor I slept at all well. That night I do not think I was as worried about being murdered in my sleep as I was about Freddo escaping. And the master bedroom was a bit too cosy as I had not realised that to get it to an acceptable temperature, the air conditioning needed to be set to 5 centigrade. Obviously, Kermit woke up at 2am and started blasting his nose. I went and had words.
We struggled out of bed the next morning and were fairly late down to breakfast. It was a decent spread and notably had chicken wings. I have no idea if this is a French thing but Mrs Froggee and Kermit likey. After breakfast I took a call from Virgin Atlantic who refused to say what the call was about until I gave them my inside leg measurement. I called back and they had blocked my credit card because of 4x €30 transactions the night before. I endured a painfully long customer service interaction where the agent mumbled incoherently half the time and decided to spice things up by asking if I had made non-existent transactions “as a test”. And does anyone know their credit limit off the top of their head? Then we wandered over to see La Grande Arche de la Défense, went to the mall where the boys found a Lego section in Fnac, got sandwiches from everyone’s favourite continental baker, Paul for €28.30, 4x 500ml of Orangina and 4.5 litres of water from Carrefour Cité for €6.30 and went back to our room. Quiet time and then off to the track cycling which was readily accessible by a direct RER from La Défense station. Kermit was very much resentful about the 20-minute trudge from the station to the velodrome but on entering it he brightened up and said “wow”. I do like it when Kermit shows enthusiasm for anything other than Minecraft.
Britain failed to win any gold medals but never mind – they tried. I had paid €1,542.80 for category A tickets so we had a good view of their failure. The velodrome was stiflingly hot so I let the boys have Fanta at €5 each if it meant them staying hydrated. Freddo managed to get Fanta all over his face and down his arm. In their wisdom, Coca Cola had decided to save the planet by insisting that all bottles were recycled which meant that there was now an intermediate stage whereby you had to pay an extra €2 per drink to receive it in a souvenir cup. You could at least return later and get your €2 back. So to reduce plastic waste, Coca Cola were making additional plastic waste. Pure genius. The only way to refill a water bottle for free was to get water from the mixer taps in the toilets which always seems a bit gross to me. Maybe Coca Cola could have sponsored free filtered water refill stations if they actually gave a hoot about plastic waste? Therefore, it was €3.50 for 500ml of water. And we really needed water. I asked if it could just be poured directly into our water bottles which resulted in a spirited debate amongst the staff before it was concluded that I could pour it myself thereby saving the unnecessary €2 cup stage.
The food selection at the velodrome was really limited. “But you said there would be hot dogs” remonstrated Kermit. Two ham sandwiches and an “Italian Salad” (cold pasta with vegetables that had been grilled in a past life) were €32. Obviously, the ham sandwiches I ordered (the order being repeated back to me in English) became salmon by the time I returned to my seat. The boys refused to eat them but they shared my cold pasta salad between them although neither ate much on account of not being hungry. The salmon sandwich was actually quite good. I persuaded Kermit to have a bite. He spat it out. “Nasty”. Kermit got a headache and Mrs Froggee could feel the heat radiating off her sweaty neighbour so we called it quits before the points race which was probably wise given Ethan Hayter’s performance. At least I remembered to return our souvenir plastic cups before leaving. As we stepped outside, the 25 centigrade evening felt like a cool spring day. Kermit was cured by the time we got back to La Défense and was more than willing to entertain McDonalds at the station. Can I have another burger said he after wolfing his down? Bien sûr Kermit, bien sûr. No, you may not!
Freddo was shattered as evidenced by a deterioration in behaviour, becoming highly emotional, and refusing to go to bed. He did not triumph in whatever fight he was trying to win at but went from temper tantrum to sleep in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile Mrs Froggee presented me with a dilemma. We have had a formal mug buying ban in our household for many years on account of having far too many mugs. We have a cupboard full of them. And then there is a second cupboard also. And we have a bucketload in the guesthouse. And a backup box of bubble wrapped mugs on top of a cupboard in case all the other mugs should simultaneously shatter or otherwise be subject to some mass mug extinction event. Occasionally Mrs Froggee might inadvertently “forget” about the ban or even be deceitful and solicit a friend to buy her a mug for her birthday. But on our recent Virgin Atlantic flight, the gifting of a mug to Kermit for his birthday and the near-instantaneous commandeering of said mug by Mrs Froggee must have woken her animal spirits. Like an alcoholic who had consumed their first drink in years, Mrs Froggee needed more. Apparently, she very much liked the colourful Pullman mugs we had in our room and wanted to steal them. But I am an honest man. (I should caveat this statement in that my parents brought me up on the understanding that, if I wished to be dishonest, it was to be in the going-after-Fort Knox-category rather than petty theft.) I emailed our friend the Client Experience Director and asked if it might be possible to buy some of the mugs as my lady wife very much liked them and I had risked spoiling our 15th wedding anniversary by telling her she could not just put them in our suitcase.
The next morning, as I had hoped for, the Client Experience Director emailed me back saying that they did not sell the mugs but she would be delighted to gift us four. I thanked her effusively and proposed a swap for the unopened bottle of Heidsieck & Co Monopole Blue Top Brut Champagne given Mrs Froggee’s propensity to puke up on consuming alcohol. After ten hours of sleep, Freddo was rejuvenated but it was now Kermit’s turn to grump to the point that Mrs Froggee and Freddo formed a breakfast vanguard while I waited in the room until Kermit’s tempest had faded. The boys had canvassed hard to go back to Le Jardin d’Acclimatation but that was not going to happen. We went to my long-time favourite Jardin du Luxembourg, which I had missed out on during our last trip to Paris. I deposited the gang at LudoJardin (cost of their entry €7, €20 given to Mrs Froggee by me, €13 change pocketed by Mrs Froggee) while I went off for a walk to reminisce.
I found a space invader on a street corner which is integral to a Paris trip for me. I got €290 cash out from an ATM and Revolut showed how things should be done by blocking my card before the suspicious transaction, sending me an instantaneous alert in the app which I clicked on and approved, thereby being allowed to get cash out on the second attempt. It took less than a minute. I bought six stamps from La Poste for €11.76, and six postcards, three fridge magnets and three brightly coloured berets from a wee tourist shop for €26. And I walked past Longchamp and took a picture of it sending it to Mrs Froggee who had messaged me saying she was keen to find Longchamp. Five minutes later an order came in but I was on my way back to LudoJardin where I paid my one-euro entry fee. The boys wanted ice cream because, ice cream. The man in the shop was initially confused at me rushing over to give Mrs Froggee a small plastic bag stuffed full of coins when she had many other methods of valid payment including a recently bequeathed €10 note but this confusion was resolved with the words “Je suis Écossais” and according to Mrs Froggee he genuinely appreciated the change. Much as I would have genuinely appreciated my €13 change from the entry fee…
We had lunch at the tourist trap that was La Table du Luxembourg. The waiter was friendly and took our order in good English. He brought three dishes, said he would bring an extra plate, which he did, wished us bon appétit and vamooshed. After a few minutes I managed to summon him back to ask if Mrs Froggee’s beef was coming. Credit where credit is due, as I was expecting a story about a chef chasing a cow, but a look of horror was immediately followed with “I’m so sorry I forgot”. The waiter went off and the beef did duly arrive and Mrs Froggee is a quick eater so no harm no foul. Freddo ate some croque monsieur, Kermit said his chicken, which came in a pot, was the best chicken he had ever had. My quiche was quiche. The bill was €98.50 which also included 500ml of Orangina and 750ml of Vittel. I bravely chose not to tip.
I had naively suggested to Mrs Froggee that Longchamp was next to a metro station from where we could connect to Châtelet–Les Halles so it would barely even be a detour to go. We went to Longchamp. Longchamp pour longtemps. Amusingly there was another father with two boys who also chose to stand outside and his children were worse behaved than mine. Kermit and Freddo did not understand why we were outside. Because I would rather shout at you out here than embarrass your mother by shouting at you inside the store boys – they let dogs into this store but I cannot trust you two not to pee everywhere. Eventually I relented after going in to answer a question on passports from Mrs Froggee. Kermit and Freddo were allowed to sit on the couch under threat of excominecrafto for any infraction. It took Mrs Froggee 40 minutes to procure two tote bags for €260 that look remarkably like the ones Samsonite used to give away for a penny with a purchase. Later I googled the bags and Mrs Froggee could have bought them from John Lewis in Edinburgh for only about £10 more each. “But I get €30 tax back” retorted the shopping addict.
We took the metro and then an RER back to the hotel. Kermit was unamused that there were no seats, repeatedly trying to sit on the steps of the train. Grrrrrr. Having spent 40 minutes in Longchamp, Mrs Froggee was in a weak negotiating position when Kermit wanted to look at Pokémon cards. I took Freddo back to the hotel as he had to nap given the pending late night. The cleaners had kindly shut the bedroom doors so I could only get into Freddo’s room as that was the room I had a key card for. Thankfully Mrs Froggee and Kermit returned fairly swiftly. Mrs Froggee’s reaction to the four mugs and bonus pouch of herbal teas waiting for her was more as if I had passed a test than one of delight. Freddo was told to sleep but he refused unless Mrs Froggee joined him. Apparently, she had promised. She never turns down sleepy time so off to the land of Zzzzz they went together.
I had to wake them both which was not welcomed and we were later than I would have preferred in leaving for the athletics. It was two efficient RERs to the Stade de France. As we walked to the stadium, Kermit asked what would happen if a sniper started to fire at the crowd? I need to pay more attention to what he is watching on YouTube. We just made it inside the Stade de France for 7pm when they started dishing out medals although the actual events did not start until 7:30pm. We went to buy hotdogs. We were told that there were no more hot dogs so we should go downstairs. Downstairs had one hot dog but there would be more. Yes we can wait. It was suggested that we came back in fifteen minutes. I prepaid for four hot dogs plus a popcorn, confirming that the serveuse would remember me and I made her promise not to quit and get another job. We then went and found our seats. Kermit’s mind was well and truly blown by the scale of the stadium. Unable to reconcile the size of the Stade de France with my offspring’s common sense, I wrote our section, row and seat numbers on the boys’ forearms with a biro. If they went astray, some friendly French person would be sure to return them to us. We had category B seats in the middle tier which cost €1,563.10. Fortunately, we were not too bothered about the women’s shot put as even though these were big girls, they looked like ants from where we were sitting. And the put? What put!? The view was pretty rubbish for the long jump also which we were interested in but it was all about being there. I went to try and buy cookies, failing at three different kiosks. I then questioned why on earth I was so desperate to pay €3.50 for a cookie and went to get our hot dogs. I remember the distraught England supporters in Marseille when the beer ran out by half time during their first Rugby World Cup game. Why can the French not cater for sporting events? They do a considerably worse job than the Scots and I always thought that we plumbed the depths.
We were very pleased that the boys ate the hot dogs given there was Dijon mustard on them as well as the more familiar ketchup. We were less pleased that neither child avoided dripping the mustardy ketchup on their shorts. It did briefly rain and the wind brought it to us as a cold mist. Kermit was appalled that we had not brought his hoody just in case of such an eventuality and made a grand show of being too cold for five minutes. The athletics was great. And it was nice to go to the Stade de France and not see Scotland handed our backside by Ireland at rugby. Therapeutic almost. We had a moment of excitement when the stadium display showed Team GB as the winners in the women’s 4x100m relay. But Freddo promptly burst into tears. The family in front of him had all stood up meaning he could not see what happened and the family behind him had then waved a Union Jack which went over his head, completely blinding him. Poor wee fellow. From the angle we were sitting at in the stadium it had indeed looked like Team GB had won and many Brits were fooled. But silver was still good. The men got a medal too and KJT did her best in the 800m. In Kermit’s words, the toilets were nasty. I concurred. No way would I fill up a water bottle there. Mrs Froggee bravely went towards the end and came back looking traumatised. She wanted a bath after the experience but there was not even soap remaining. She went scavenging and found some soap in the disabled toilets. I have always thought that men are more considerate than women and this was evidenced by there still being plenty of soap in the gents with most men kindly choosing not to use it so those who really needed soap later on could have some.
Given the hour, we decided to leave before the men’s 400m hurdles which would hopefully avoid the scrum for trains. This was successful and we got a seat on the RER. I had managed not to buy water at the Stade de France but both boys were out. Kermit gulped Mrs Froggee’s last drop. I then took great pleasure in drinking what was left of my water on the way back to the hotel. I maybe should not have gargled with it but it was fun winding up Kermit.
Freddo was in an excellent mood which showed the benefit of nap time. He asked if we could change our flight and extend the hotel which I do not think has ever happened on a holiday before so something about the experience clearly struck home. If I had realised the boys would enjoy the thing so much then I would have gone for longer but hindsight is 20:20. I promised the boys we would visit Paris every time the Olympics was on there.
Despite the late night, both boys were up at 8am and we had a leisurely morning to pack/stare at iPads as our car was booked for 11am. Checkout was swift and involved donating an additional €36 to Anne Hildago’s public transport fund. I did not mind as I love the irony that the Paris bid for the Olympics had promised free public transport only to instead double prices and triple the tourist tax to pay for, erm, public transport. Our driver was on time and had starry lights on the roof of his van. He was suitably appalled when I told him it costs £5 to drop someone off at Edinburgh Airport. Free at Charles de Gaulle. The French would riot. We were safely deposited at the airport at around 11:45am and the driver was ecstatic with a €10 tip.
EasyJet bag drop at Charles de Gaulle was not a pleasant experience. In a way we were too early as our flight was at 3pm which meant we could ditch our bag no earlier than 12:30pm. There were two queues on either side of the check-in area. I joined one with Freddo who appeared to be feeling a bit off after the transfer. Mrs Froggee took Kermit to search for her tax refund. They returned before we got to the front of the preliminary queue. We made it to the entrance of the formal tensile barrier queuing experience at 12:17pm where a man in a suit asked which flight we were on. On hearing Edinburgh, he told me to go away. Sometimes I can be too passive but I assertively pointed out that by the time we got to the front of the queue it would be after 12:30pm and my younger son was not feeling well so please could we join the queue. We were allowed to join the queue. “Vous êtes très gentil” said I. We actually “benefitted” from a family queue which was shorter than the normal one and we reached the front of it at a well-timed 12:35pm. There was a very short queue for those with speedy boarding who wished to drop bags. I think speedy boarding only comes with a large cabin bag purchase, so I guess there is probably a very small subset of speedy boarders who wish to check a bag. But if I were to take Easyjet again from Charles de Gaulle and wanted to check a bag I think I would consider paying the cabin bag tax to speed up bag drop.
We made peepee because who knew what Security would be like. Of note is that outside the toilets before Security there was a filtered water machine. As it happened, the answer to the Security question was instantaneous and friendly. And then passport stampy time was also instantaneous and friendly. Why can’t Paris always be like this? We were good to go. Mrs Froggee got us two baguettes, a wrap, and two fruit pots from Prêt a Manger for €33.70. The boys were allowed the excitement of Orangina from the vending machine at €3.60 each. As she almost always does, Mrs Froggee had forgotten her tea from Prêt a Manger so I got her one for €3.60. Annoyingly I could not see a filtered water machine in the non-Schengen departures area so that was another 2 x €3.60 for two litres of water. It appeared that all drinks at the terminal were €3.60. I should have had a cocktail.
Our plane boarded on time and via a jetway which made me very happy. There was a mother and son in front of us in the non-speedy boarding queue with decent sized wheely bags. They were clocked by the agent and sent to the dreaded bag-sizer-of-doom. The boy lifted his case and comfortably failed to fit it in the sizer. Before anyone could even utter the words “€58 gate check fee”, he whipped off the wheels and neatly popped the remaining bag in the sizer. The look on the agent’s face was priceless. Check and mate. As the mother went to do the same thing, the agent told her to stop and get back in the queue as if she was somehow being disruptive in following his instructions. This alone would have made the trip for me. It’s the small things that keep you going innit?
Our flight was on time and we survived the bouncy landing unscathed. EasyJet bused us to the terminal on arrival, but it was nothing like as traumatic as the Jet2 experience. Immigration was quick enough, our bag arrived promptly and it took but a minute to buy dinner and some fruit from M&S Simply Food for £25.40. I was relieved to find that my car had not been blown off the top of the multi-storey car park and we were home in half an hour. Happy days indeed.
The next morning, we were all up at a respectable time but too late for swimming. Freddo was seriously bouncy. The problem is that spending a day travelling means much pent-up energy. After breakfast, he bounded from the kitchen table onto the couch where he proceeded to hop onto the arm of the couch and stand like a karate kid in training. Mrs Froggee took one look at him and said “go upstairs and get changed – we’re going to park run”. Freddo briefly looked nonplussed, hopped off the couch and said “me too tired for park run, me still jet lagged” and darted down the steps to the Lego room with a smirk on his face. He is too cool for school that kid.
Within days of our return Mrs Froggee received a somewhat random US$30.44 tax back on her bags which were paid for in euros. Another win for Revolut which did not miss a beat in taking receipt of this amount without charge. Meanwhile my £418.04 hotel cashback was declined by Accor. On a whim, I looked up souvenir Coca Cola Olympic cups on Ebay to find that people are actually paying £20 for them. And to think I was proud of myself for remembering to claim the €2 per cup deposit back. Oh and the €13 change from LudoJardin was never spoken of again.
Sad face.
The end.
Those eye watering amounts of cash never appear to disappoint.
I always find Accor is pretty good at tracking.I ALWAYS book free cancellation post covid. Always eliminates the anger when you realise you have paid over the odds. Also gives you a sense of elation when you cancel and re-book and save your self 3 quid.
Ooh La La @froggee, nearly €10,000 for 4 mugs?! 😉
Sounds like a great little trip if you forget about the hotel costs!!
@YorkshireRich – same ! The one time I booked prepaid rooms recently before a cruise we’d definitely absolutely be going on, we in fact did not go on the cruise this year and Premier Inn can’t change the date to next year as the “Standard” rate type isn’t available for the new date (and you can guarantee we’ll be allocated an evening flight anyway this time….)We did 31/7 to 5/8 at the Olympics. Saw a load of events, did a ton of stuff, and all in all, had the experience of a lifetime. It was absolutely brilliant.
But I write to confirm you are not alone in the hotel gouging stakes. We booked as soon as we got our tickets for the events and knew our schedule (probably about a year out from memory). We too stayed at an Accor which had I waited I would have got for half the price. Speaking to a number of people at various hotels, occupancy was much lower than they anticipated.
Hilton is our brand of choice but they were sold out when we wanted to book. By the time the Olympics started rooms were available for their usual point values.
Still no regrets. It could have been cheaper but it could not have been better.
Ouch at the ticket prices.
I managed to get bottom category athletics (still had great views) for 125 euros each, 50 euro tickets to both gold medal hockey matches. Bargain was 24 euros for cycling heats. I got very lucky
“two tote bags for €260 that look remarkably like the ones Samsonite used to give away for a penny with a purchase.”
Ahaha; I suspect our views on spending money on fashion items is quite similar, (such is my lack of interest in these things, it actually took me a sentence or two to realise Longchamp is some sort of fashion label – I was wondering why you were standing outside a racecourse) but compared to the hotel prices ’tis but a drop!
Sounds like a great trip! I used to stay at the Pullman La Defense very frequently with work and seem to remember it being across the road from a Hilton (within some shopping mall IIRC?). It was a short-ish walk to the La Defense Arc with the view towards the Arc de T etc.
Standout memory was the area just outside the hotel having brass / metallic statues of all shapes and sizes. I seem to remember a huge thumb, of all things, amongst other obscure structures.
Nb there were a handful of reasonably decent eateries in close proximity (servicing the office buildings close-by) with decent fixed-price lunch menus. I miss the days of a carafe of wine to go alongside my lunch time salad 🙂
An entertaining read, as ever. Thanks!
Nice one Froggee. We were also in attendance at the Olympics and were similarly gouged on the hotel: €500 a night for a Citadines where policy dictates they only clean the room once in 8 days. Wonderful trip though. An Iranian guy a couple of seats in front of us at the Taekwondo got the whole crowd cheering for his man and I momentarily forgot they’re part of the axis of evil. That’s the Olympic spirit for you
Thanks Froggee brilliant read as always!
Hello
@yorkshireRich – aye I should have held my nerve but Accor were only selling non refundable rates when I booked. Given the difficulty in guaranteeing connecting rooms I made a (very bad) judgement call.
@freckles – and some herbal tea…
@ukpolak that is indeed all the case. The Hilton is in the conference centre which is connected to the shopping mall. I checked the Hilton at the same time I checked Accor rates a couple of weeks prior and at least they weren’t giving away their rooms on points. As for THAT thumb. Yeah. Weird but kinda cool. Although it has to be said, from the reverse angle of it we had from our hotel it looked more like a poo.https://www.eutouring.com/le_pouce.html
Thank you everyone else – particularly those who also got gouged by Parisien hoteliers.
On the refundable, non refundable debate, it is a tricky one. I generally go non-refundable if the saving is 10%+ and I am sure we wish to go. It is tricky when you only have the choice of a non-refundable rate though. I congratulated myself for booking a placeholder hotel in Marseille (when I went for the rugby World Cup) on a refundable rate which was pulled a few days later. But the hotel was wise to it. They called a few months before the RWC asking me to confirm and if I wished to stay they would be taking full non-refundable payment. I choose my battles and that time it was suck it up and pay as there was nothing better.
Thanks for the entertaining read. (And again for the initial tip off in the forums about the ballot)
We were at the same Athletics session.
Our paupers’ / Tinkerman version:
1) Booked kids in with grandparents so we only paid for the 2 of us.
2) Booked Avios to CDG upon release. CE out, ET return
3) Booked dodgy looking booking.com apartment in Goussainville for £180
4) Upon release of Eurostar prices, cancelled the CDG-LHR and Booked E* at £270. Flight time wasn’t ideal anyway.
5) Booked Mercure paris pont de vaillois at £220 and cancelled the booking.com (which had been delisted from site but showed on Airbnb as available for our dates)
6) Booked E* standard premium and cancelled LHR-CDG. Can’t remember price, but similar to the flight pricing and better timings.
7) Enjoyed a Pakistani curry near our hotel for about £18 via the fork. Apparently one of Paris’ better curryhouses.Thanks for the entertaining read. (And again for the initial tip off in the forums about the ballot)
We were at the same Athletics session.
Our paupers’ / Tinkerman version:
1) Booked kids in with grandparents so we only paid for the 2 of us.
2) Booked Avios to CDG upon release. CE out, ET return
3) Booked dodgy looking booking.com apartment in Goussainville for £180
4) Upon release of Eurostar prices, cancelled the CDG-LHR and Booked E* at £270. Flight time wasn’t ideal anyway.
5) Booked Mercure paris pont de vaillois at £220 and cancelled the booking.com (which had been delisted from site but showed on Airbnb as available for our dates)
6) Booked E* standard premium and cancelled LHR-CDG. Can’t remember price, but similar to the flight pricing and better timings.
7) Enjoyed a Pakistani curry near our hotel for about £18 via the fork. Apparently one of Paris’ better curryhouses.Now that’s the way to do it!
I stayed at home and watched loads of Olympic action in close-up via Eurosport on the TV courtesy of Discovery+ included with my Sky subscription. Multiple streams so able to watch other sports when it was the women’s shot put. Also able to go peepee at any point and no worries about the state of the toilets. And plenty of chilled filtered water from bottles stored in my fridge without needing to pay €2 deposit for a reusable cup.
Not quite the same atmosphere as being there in person but a damn sight cheaper it seems.
@FatherOfFour I was with you until you mentioned curry. France has wonderful cuisine so curry would not even figure as a choice but as long as you enjoyed it I guess that’s all that matters.
As always a good read and well written. Seems like a success overall for a holiday!
Great report @Froggee as always. We were also at the Olympics from 2nd to 7th August. (Again, thanks to you for the tip on the ticket ballot).
We managed not too bad, in comparison to your hotel costs:
Easyjet from MAN to Paris CDG – delayed on way out, seemed to have been charged by PP for using the card, horrible queues at CDG on way back and did get sent away from the queue as we were too early.
5 nights at Hilton Garden Inn Orly airport – 2 rooms, both booked on 544 points deals
Swimming session on Sunday, Athletics sessions (morning and evening) on Tuesday
Shopping and sight-seeing at all other times
A huge Pan Au Chocolat that was bigger than both my kids heads!
We bought the 60euro 5 day transport pass each, as each trip from hotel to destination (venue or other) was 3 modes of transport from hotel, then back again.First time in Paris when not working, and would definitely go back.
Now thinking about LA2028. Would like to do it and would go to the kayak cross country – that looked epic!
Oh, and I didn’t know about the cups with the return value. Threw 8 of them away at the swimming then cottoned on at the athletics!
Oh, and I didn’t know about the cups with the return value. Threw 8 of them away at the swimming then cottoned on at the athletics!
This was a weird greenwashing scheme. Firstly, they were pouring directly out of original plastic coke bottles into the plastic cups- doubling the amount of plastic.
Then they were closing the kiosks 30 minutes before the end of the sessions, so it wasn’t easy to return your cups. It was nigh on impossible to get out of your row during the events unless you were on a row end.They advertised a “deliver to your seat” scheme at Stade de France, but I couldn’t get this working at either Athletics session we attended.
Took our cups to Versailles the next day and returned them there. I expect those living in mainland Europe are more used to these deposit schemes on plastic bottles etc.
We sampled a fair bit of the stadium food – reasonable choice for Veggie’s like us. Mediocre quality as you’d expect.
Agree @FatherOfFour – it would have made more sense if it was a drinks machine like in a pub etc., why not just give us the original plastic bottle?
I finally managed to find the time (waiting whilst kid at birthday party) to settle down with a warm drink and read this episode. Might have to sit in the car next time judging by the looks I was getting when laughing at my phone…
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