Dating advice

[LondonTravels]

Quiet unexpectedly a lady has asked me if I’d like to host her for an afternoon out in London. We have a shared passion for live music, but this is a day out to do other things. I’ve suggested an art museum, which she’s agreed to, and I’m wondering if this amazing community could suggest something else as well. We’ll need to stop for refreshments. West-Central would be the ideal location. I’d like to build in a wander down Coalville Place, but I’m also mindful the weather could be awful.

No rush, it’s a few weeks away, and I’m meeting her in the meantime for more music, so a chance to run some ideas past her. She’s from out of town, late 40s, I’m male, early 50s. My last ‘date’ was quarter of a century ago, so I’m a little out of practice.

Full disclosure: I’ve posted here before with another username. Feeling a touch embarrassed, so not using it to pose this question.

[Scott]

Colville Place? How about Swingers Crazy Golf – it’s nearby, and I’m sure you’d both have lots of fun.

[Jasdev]

It won’t be London-specific but there are two reddit communities to consider browsing for ideas here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/
https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverfifty/

Best of luck!

[LondonTravels]

Thanks

I’m not sure suggesting a place called “swingers” quiet sets the tone correctly on date one! But we’ll see.

I’ll check out the Reddit thing.

[AJA]

For refreshments how about afternoon tea? I highly recommend Dean Street Townhouse in Soho £28 per person or £40 with a glass of champagne (not sure of the brand). Not too far from Colville Place.

[ChasP]

I’ve not looked at your dates and depending on your (or her) tastes in food and music

https://www.pizzaexpresslive.com/venues/chelsea-the-pheasantry

[yonasl]

ChasP wrote:

I’ve not looked at your dates and depending on your (or her) tastes in food and music

https://www.pizzaexpresslive.com/venues/chelsea-the-pheasantry

Wear a good amount of deodorant so it doesn’t get into a sweaty situation.

[0 post]

Shoestring, is that you?!

[LondonTravels]

yonasl wrote:

ChasP wrote:

I’ve not looked at your dates and depending on your (or her) tastes in food and music

https://www.pizzaexpresslive.com/venues/chelsea-the-pheasantry

Wear a good amount of deodorant so it doesn’t get into a sweaty situation.

Pizza Express is a great suggestion. I read somewhere it was the perfect first date meal: not too flash, not too cheap, and no one dislikes it enough to object. Add some entertainment and that could be ideal.

And naturally I shall ensure I smell unnaturally delightful throughout. 🙂

[Jasdev]

LondonTravels wrote:

yonasl wrote:

ChasP wrote:

I’ve not looked at your dates and depending on your (or her) tastes in food and music

https://www.pizzaexpresslive.com/venues/chelsea-the-pheasantry

Wear a good amount of deodorant so it doesn’t get into a sweaty situation.

Pizza Express is a great suggestion. I read somewhere it was the perfect first date meal: not too flash, not too cheap, and no one dislikes it enough to object. Add some entertainment and that could be ideal.

And naturally I shall ensure I smell unnaturally delightful throughout. 🙂

The Guardian food critic Jay Rayner performs at a few Pizza Express venues with his jazz ensemble, worth looking out for tickets to those if they align with your dates and timings.

[LondonTravels]

I love his podcasts. I’m sure I’d love his jazz too!

[LondonTravels]

Anonymous wrote:

Shoestring, is that you?!

LOL … I’ve been around HfP, and the ramblings in “bits”, long enough to remember Harry. Very good. No.

[RTS]

Clays for a bit of shooting fun and decent food.
HiJingo for some bingo fun and drinks – though might be quite loud for a first date.
The Arcade for some good and unpretentious market stall type food but in a nice environment.
How about some salsa dancing? At Bar Salsa in Embankment. Great place to learn a bit of salsa and get your groovy on 😉
Flight club to play some darts.
And finally one of my all time favourite places for live bands… Piano Works in Piccadilly. I can’t remember which day of the week, but they have a secret open sing-a-long room where they usually have all the west end actors/actresses come and perform.

Good luck and all the best.

[degsy]

On the wrong side of town for you I suspect, but Spitalfields Market has an excellent vibe. Some great stores, shops, bars etc. And you can play Shuffleboard which is fab.
And Columbia Road Flower Market is excellent too (Sunday mornings though, so maybe one for next time).

[LondonTravels]

Thank you all for more suggestions.

I will take her to Clays — perfect, I’ve been before, it’s ideal. Why didn’t I think of that?

Didn’t know The Arcade existed. Will check that out, along with the other suggestions. Food wise I’ve plumped for Barshu, an Chinese eatery in Soho.

The date is next weekend. However, I met her yesterday at a music event, and, despite it being anything but intimate, it seems “we’re on” judging by a passionate kiss we somehow wrapped ourselves up in on a dancefloor. This does somewhat take the pressure off next week.

I’m over the moon. Thank you all for your support.

[RTS]

LondonTravels wrote:

Thank you all for more suggestions.

I will take her to Clays — perfect, I’ve been before, it’s ideal. Why didn’t I think of that?

Didn’t know The Arcade existed. Will check that out, along with the other suggestions. Food wise I’ve plumped for Barshu, an Chinese eatery in Soho.

The date is next weekend. However, I met her yesterday at a music event, and, despite it being anything but intimate, it seems “we’re on” judging by a passionate kiss we somehow wrapped ourselves up in on a dancefloor. This does somewhat take the pressure off next week.

I’m over the moon. Thank you all for your support.

Bow chicka wow wow, must be lynx africa. 😉

Barshu is pretty average btw. If it is Chinese you’re after; The Orient, Dumpling Legend, Leongs Legend or Din Tai Fung are, imo, much better options.

[LondonTravels]

RTS wrote:

Bow chicka wow wow, must be lynx africa. 😉

🤣

Hermes Terre D’Hermes was lingering on me as it happens! Never shall there be a greater brand loyalist for that perfume than me in future.

Having had a couple of days to recover from the initial shock … I’m still completely staggered this happened. And equally poleaxed by how I feel.

Barshu is pretty average btw. If it is Chinese you’re after; The Orient, Dumpling Legend, Leongs Legend or Din Tai Fung are, imo, much better options.

Well, I like Barshu, but not tried any of your suggestions. Do I risk a last minute change…? I’m feeling very lucky right now…

[strickers]

There’s obviously a connection, it’s time to stop overthinking it. If that connection is reciprocated then it doesn’t matter where you go next, the important thing is to be somewhere you both feel comfortable. I met my ‘current’ wife on the internet, that was now over 20 years ago, we were internet dating pioneers, does anyone remember Love at Lycos? We messaged each other for months before we had a proper date, we look back now and realised we both overcomplicated the situation. Don’t get me wrong, trying to make the first few dates special is really important, but it’s not as important as having fun, so just go with the flow.

[Amy C]

strickers wrote:

There’s obviously a connection, it’s time to stop overthinking it. If that connection is reciprocated then it doesn’t matter where you go next, the important thing is to be somewhere you both feel comfortable. I met my ‘current’ wife on the internet, that was now over 20 years ago, we were internet dating pioneers, does anyone remember Love at Lycos? We messaged each other for months before we had a proper date, we look back now and realised we both overcomplicated the situation. Don’t get me wrong, trying to make the first few dates special is really important, but it’s not as important as having fun, so just go with the flow.

I remember love at lycos! Only because my second ever boyfriend (circa 2002) was permanently on it behind my back at the time. He’s still like it now and has a separate phone just for Tinder 🤦‍♀️🙄. I had a lucky escape. Glad it worked for you Strickers!

[LondonTravels]

Just for the record, our friendship was struck up in part through the internet, but these days every hobby or interest has a site, app or forum. It was music that brought us together.

Neither of us have touched a dating app or site. There is hope for non-app using hold outs!

Still mulling a change of venue for the Chinese…

[Gary]

Barshu is perfectly fine especially if you like a bit of spice as it specialises in Sichuan cuisine. It has the advantage of literally steps from places to hang out after. Curzon around the corner has a nice cafe/bar which serves alcohol for sit down conversations. Ham Yard Hotel’s bar has a nice buzz but still civilised. If you are looking for a proper night out/dance, there is no short of outlets to choose from in the immediate vicinity.

Go for Ding Tai Fung if you fancy dumplings. Hope it all goes well!

[kevinchoi]

RTS wrote:

If it is Chinese you’re after; The Orient, Dumpling Legend, Leongs Legend or Din Tai Fung are, imo, much better options.

+1 for Orient and Din Tai Fung. Although, if you do go for Din Tai Fung, then I highly recommend booking a table in advance.

If you want to go for something more upscale/fancier, then try Imperial Treasure.

[strickers]

Amy C wrote:

strickers wrote:

There’s obviously a connection, it’s time to stop overthinking it. If that connection is reciprocated then it doesn’t matter where you go next, the important thing is to be somewhere you both feel comfortable. I met my ‘current’ wife on the internet, that was now over 20 years ago, we were internet dating pioneers, does anyone remember Love at Lycos? We messaged each other for months before we had a proper date, we look back now and realised we both overcomplicated the situation. Don’t get me wrong, trying to make the first few dates special is really important, but it’s not as important as having fun, so just go with the flow.

I remember love at lycos! Only because my second ever boyfriend (circa 2002) was permanently on it behind my back at the time. He’s still like it now and has a separate phone just for Tinder 🤦‍♀️🙄. I had a lucky escape. Glad it worked for you Strickers!

What a #%^€$

[RTS]

LondonTravels wrote:

Just for the record, our friendship was struck up in part through the internet, but these days every hobby or interest has a site, app or forum. It was music that brought us together.

Neither of us have touched a dating app or site. There is hope for non-app using hold outs!

Still mulling a change of venue for the Chinese…

Stick to what you know. 🙂 Plenty of chances to hit up the other recommendations.

[Peter K]

+1 for sticking to what you know you enjoy. It sounds like it’s the company more than the food you are after.

If it’s not great then just say it was nice last time and what a shame. On the other hand, if you book somewhere new and it’s not as you were hoping then it sounds worse to say you changed venue last minute based on advice from strangers on the internet!